relax

The Lord sees you and says, "Relax." You have been carrying the load. You have been standing for your family. He is saying, "I have your back. You can relax now. You can relax. You have been carrying the burden, standing as a pilar for your family during this time. You have given it all your strength. Your unwavering dedication is admirable and has not gone unnoticed. I see what you have done and I am here. I have you. I have your family. Release the fears. It is time. I am here now. I am here. It is now time to relax."

little arms

Yesterday - grumpy, crabby, mad at everyone. Me, sitting on bedroom floor. In walks Chocolate Chip (my two year old, but thats not really her name). She senses Mommy is upset with life. She walks up to me and softly puts her arms around my neck. We are chest to chest, spirit to spirit - connected. She whispers in my ear, "Mommy, I love you." She wants to comfort me and begins to sing "Jesus loves me this I know." Sweet little Chocolate Chip. My heart melts from her love. Jesus sent me a little messenger today with a big message, "He loves me."

connect

Since I made it a point to connect with others more this year, it seems like it has gotten harder. I gave it to the Lord and it has gotten harder. I have been fighting my very thoughts against what seems like a titlewave of rejection and insecurity. My goodness... WAIT! THAT'S IT: goodness! God must have goodness that will come from this, my efforts, my woundedness. Isn't that what happens when you give your weakness to the Lord? It rises to Him as an offering and He is allowed in.

a friend

I went to pray for a friend today with cancer. The Lord showed up with His presence and fire as we prayed and we all were blessed. My husband and I both get qweezy-weezy when we go into hospitals and faint cold at the sight of blood. What a couple, huh? I said, "are you sure you want us to come?" ha ha ha! Really, I count it a privilege to go and pray for this man who is a mighty warrior for the Lord. He is the one I always go to when no one else can help. He and his wife are so full of compassion and love and WAR, and battle on levels no other man I know can stand. Thank you my friend for your friendship, love and prayers throughout the years. I am so very grateful for you!

heaven sees

God sees it all. He sees you and all you've done. He sees your heart and all it has kept. He sees your mind and all it thinks. I once read that in heaven our thoughts are heard louder than our words. Even in knowing that, and knowing that my thoughts are not always so nice (i.e. the driver in front of me, or Ms. Holier-than-thou), He still loves me and will not reject me. He sees it all and loves everything about me. He knows me and I know Him.

the new year

My word for the new year is CONNECT. This is the word I will focus on this year instead of resolutions and all that. I will try to focus more on when my kids, friends, family, try to connnect with me and be more aware of this and try to focus on connecting with others more also. It is so important and I have not been good at doing it lately. Too wrapped up in rejection and self-protection. I lay that down Lord and choose to connect with those you put in my path. To risk it all to connect with those you want me to touch and those you want to touch me. I open my heart to you and choose to connect and to risk and to love.